Okay, so, way back in the day, being a big fan of Pokemon and having all this apparent "imagination", I decided to make my own version of Pokemon that I called Animon. Creative right? Yeah. I had them all listed in a booklet that I just recently found in the depths of my old dresser. I'm not going to show you all of them, because honestly, most of them are just flat out not interesting. I'm mostly just going to show you a few of my favorites that I found looking at these...which means mainly the funny ones.



First of all I'd like to show you my awesome cover. Why I decided to stop at 276 and declare it as a number of significance I will never know. Also, at least at the time I made it, I don't believe there was a place that didn't feature all 276 so that was not worth the exclamation mark either.




Okay, this is one of the first ones I made. A lot of others kind of look like this except even worse. This is the final form of the grass type that you can start with. Yeah, that's right, the final form, so I'm going to be honest, even Bulbasaur could probably beat this guy down with a leer attack. I'd also like to mention that yes, I completely ripped off of the start with grass, fire, or water type from Pokemon. Seriously, the final stage of the fire guy has wings and everything. I hate my childhood self. Ahem, anyway, here we see listed the number, name, and for some reason height of each Animon. Why I found the height important and not something like the personality or special attack moves I also do not know. Moving on...




This was a pretty cool looking guy. It's an armadillo that walks on two legs. That or he's a weasel with a large amount of feces that he's going to throw at you. Either way, you don't really wanna mess with him.




Basically my rip-off of Eevee, only much more blatant about the fact that you get a choice about what to evolve him in. So yeah, these things also tell what guys evolve into what. Of course, I wisely chose not to use stones to have these guys evolve, but in the fashion of my true and obese self, I chose to have them eat donuts to evolve. Well, donuts do make you bigger, so I guess it makes sense. So yeah, instead of a cute little pet-like creature, I chose to make my version of Eevee look like a naked little boy. Yes, yes, I know what you are thinking now. But before you say anything, please let the next Animon's name say it for you.




I kid you not, this is what I named one of them. I'm sure I meant it to be pronounced as Peedo, but obviously my childhood ignorance made me screw it up. It all works out though, for if someone told me to stay away from pedophiles, I probably would have thought it to mean folders filled with centipedes, and I definitely didn't want to mess with those.




Of the 276 Animon I made, a good dozen of them were probably ghosts. This one is shooting venom out of it's eye. Creepy? Gross? Maybe, but after looking at Pedo this guy seems pretty normal.




That's right, he's a piano and he knows the key to kicking your ass. Honestly, there must have been a whole lot of points while making this where I just couldn't think of anything good...and this is what came of it.




I'll tell you one thing Pokemon never had, a severely depressed teddy bear. This one would definitely make a great children's toy with a pull string that gives hilarious emo phrases. In all fairness though, I'd be pretty sad too if I was born without arms. I would much rather be born without legs, for then I could still go about using the computer, eating food, and playing guitar very regularly. Believe it or not, there are some people out there who would rather give up their arms. What can you do with just legs and no arms? Oh! You can play soccer. That's it. You can basically forget about everything else. Yeah, that makes perfect sense people who think that legs are more important. And yes Matt, I'm talking about you.




This, essentially, is a giant monster with skunk butts for arms. This is another thing it's best that no one questions...because I really don't have the answer. Just...no.




Yes, I did indeed have a character that was nothing more than a dairy product. Also, just recently, I would like to point out that me and a few others discovered that there really is no common kind of cheese that's yellow with holes in it. Yellow? Yes. White with holes? Of course. But not yellow with holes. Weird. Anyway, I guess I was really lazy with coloring and made his eyes yellow. Now it looks like he has jaundice. Awesome.




I think this guy is made of bubble gum balls or something. And I'm also pretty sure that's a tail down there. I do not need your perverted comments, thank you. I also noticed no height was written down...I guess I forgot would be the logical explanation. However, the covering-up-my-errors-by-making-dumb-excuses explanation would be that he has no height because he can blow the bubble gum up on command and therefore his size is always changing. Yep...




Another swell Animon with a borderline perverted name. Maybe it's just me? I don't know...if you don't agree with me, I think there's another one named Spooniwak.




Yes, another food based Animon. Did I come up with these while bored in the grocery store or what? Who knows. All I need now is a meat guy (which would fit right in with all the other sexual names) and they could fuse together to make a sandwich that would probably have a name like Sandwitch and have a random broom for no real reason.




See? Not all of them are totally lame. This guy is cool...or he would be if he didn't look like he was going to accidentally stab himself in the face. Honestly, it looks like he's about to eat his own sword to see what it tastes like. Ugh...




I don't know where the hell this one came from...it really doesn't fit in with any of the others. Yes, it's Santa with claws. Or maybe it's just Wolverine after he let himself go? I'm not quite sure. I don't know about you but I would freak out if I saw this thing coming down my chimney. Jeez...




Probably the most confusing one of all these...I...I'm really not sure where I was going with this. I think it's supposed to be a fusion of two different Animon put together but something must have gone horribly wrong. Did someone start drawing on the paper and I had to try to make something up to pretend it was all on purpose? Did I take too much allergy medication? The world may never know.




At last, the epic #276. If you look you will see that he is 1000 miles tall, quite a bit bigger than the average Animon. He's pretty much a planet with random tentacles which are probably made up of dark matter or black licorice. I don't know about everyone else but I kind of like black licorice. Although, after seeing all these Animon that I made I have come to the conclusion that I'm definitely not a normal person. I'm basically a freak. How I managed to get any friends at all is beyond me. I hate my childhood self so much...so, so very much.

Well, that's all I wanted to show everybody. I hope you found it amusing. You should feel lucky that I decided to share it with you. It's always good to laugh at ourselves sometimes. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go cry myself to sleep.