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Laser Crawler
A new and maybe actually good game on Sugar Toast! Strategically crawl around through each stage as a strange bug while dodging lasers and trying to get to the mysterious food source! There are 40 levels in all! They start out really easy and then get annoyingly hard. This game probably took us the longest to make out of any of these...mostly due to slacking, but also because we wanted it to look all fancy. Eventually we're going to make a sequel and/or improved version. Yeah, I have some ideas up my sleeve. I'm wearing a short sleeved shirt though, so there aren't a lot of ideas. You know what, I'm tired, leave me alone. Back to this game...the ending is awesome. Try to get there if you can. Someone made whole walkthough video for this...it made me feel special. There's a link to it in the game. You know I really want to make that new game now...sorry, I'm rambling here. Play the game.
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| TetriSnake
You got your Snake in my Tetris! Yes! Another new game on Sugar Toast! I have some high hopes for this one that will most likely be shot down, but at least I have a little bit of time to not be completely depressed. This game does just as the title kind of says...it combines Snake with Tetris. How does it do this? Well, you could play the game and quickly figure it out, or you could read this long and boring blog post. So...I guess you're know choosing that second option. Fine. You move around in snake form to get into the Tetris area and fill up the lines, just like in Tetris. Each time you place a snake down, the Tetris area will go up by one spot, making things more intense. Sound fun? Hopefully. I thought it was...so start playing!
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| Grape Crush
Yes, there is also a soda with this name. Pun = Fun! It also might equal some sort of lawsuit, but if REM could make a song called Orange Crush, I don't see why we can't make a game called Grape Crush, so there. This...is our new and hopefully improved remake of Crush. The original Crush, while fun and addictive, was obviously very lacking in graphics, etc. if you have ever played it. It's sequel was slightly better, but also slightly unneeded and pointless. This, however, is different...in a minimal insufficient way. Instead of a nameless white ball, you are now a nameless grape (complete with its very own OMG WTF face). There is also a mouth filled with teeth, but one tooth is missing part of it in each mouth, and that's the spot you have to hide in. There are a couple things that make this differ from the original Crush and also Crush 2 besides the graphics. First, you move around with the mouse, therefore making the grape's speed less of a factor and your strategic thought more important. Second, a new pair of teeth are added every few mouths, therefore increasing difficulty in more ways than just by speed. Finally, and perhaps unfortunately for some, there aren't going to be any other modes other than the main one. We're keeping things simple here, and the stats show that not many people played the special modes anyway...they were a bit pointless after all. This game took a very long time to complete, and it was way, way, way longer than it should have taken. It's not that it took an excessive amount of work, it's just that some people were once again being very lazy and useless. Another factor of the excessive time taken on this is that it was made in AS3, which, for anyone that cares, is just a bit more complicated than the slacker AS2 we normally use. Okay, I'm sick of typing up this description now...I think I'm going to go get a soda. What kind of soda you ask? A Pepsi.
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| Don't Click the Mine
Time for another older game that I am going to mention now. This one is our own take on games like Don't Press the Red Button and whatnot. This one is a mine, but don't click it, because bad things will happen. Obviously you're going to click it anyway, because you're just stupid like that. It goes on complaining for awhile...and then...well, you'll see what happens. Not much more to be said about this game. If you like these kinds of games, feel free to play it. It will waste a few good minutes of your relatively worthless life. (Don't argue with me on that, you know it's true. I'll admit it applies to myself as well.) Um....I want to type more to make this post longer but alas, there is nothing to mention.
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| Sugar Toast Runner
Run around as fast as you can while dodging the random forks that come at you. This is a pretty simple game...it's just there to be there. A lot of people seems to like it for some odd reason. I suppose it is kind of addictive...who knows. We should make more uselessly simple games like this. This particular game was created in the earliest times of Sugar Toast. It is not, however, the first game that we ever made. That game has been safely removed permanently from whatever computer it was on in order to prevent anyone from witnessing its awfulness. Other earlier games may or may not be mentioned in other posts. Anywho...we are talking about Sugar Toast Runner here. So play it!
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| Stupid Quiz
This is sort of like those other quiz games out there, only with its own set of crazy questions. Can you get them all correct? Probably not, as some are kind of unfair. Is it as good as the Impossible Quiz? Probably not, though it's much easier to beat for those with low self esteems. I don''t even think I know all the answers...well, there's a link to an answer key on there. I hope that link still works. I might have screwed it up somehow. Go and test it if you get stuck and then tell me if it works or not if you want. I would but...right now I''m busy making these self-advertising blog posts. Prove you aren't stupid by playing the Stupid Quiz!
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| Naughty Akari Sim 3
Yes, we totally did make this. I don't want to spoil anything, so this description is going to be kind of limited. Basically, we thought we'd have a little bit of fun here on Sugar Toast and decided to make this swell game. We had originally titled it "XXX Hentai Sim Date 3" but our advertisers didn't like those keywords much apparently as the ads became blocked on pages that had a link to that game, so therefore it was changed. I miss the old title...oh well. This is definitely a game for all you sick and perverted people that come to game sites expecting sexual gratification. Will this fulfill your needs? Hopefully, but most likely not. It's only a cartoon after all...then again, cartoons are definitely able to make things a little...out of proportion if ya know what I mean.
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| Lawnmower Adventure
This is perhaps the biggest failure of a game ever...but it was intentional. From the beat-boxing music to the obstacles that don't really do anything, this is a game that must be played at least once, if not three times. The history of this games goes back to a day of wanting to make a game called "Lawnmower Tycoon" which ended up just being a game with a lawnmower cutting grass. This version is more amusing. Even this game itself actually goes awhile back...well...maybe a few months back. All the music in the game was made by me...as if people didn't hate me enough already. We should make a sequel. It would pwn every single game ever created!
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| Acrofrog
Jump from one lily pad to another until you get rid of them all! You can play the normal game or even create your own levels. You can also play levels other people have created! Some can be challenging, and others kind of useless, but it just makes it that much more fun. This is actually a modified version of a game we had previously made called "Froggo" so if you see that anywhere on the internet, we made that too. This has all Froggo had and more...well...you can make your own levels. The only thing it's lacking is the bombs which, in my opinion, did add quite a bit of challenge, but it was too difficult with the level editor so, out they went. I also wanted turtles that would go up and down. Maybe we'll make a better version someday. This one is called Acrofrog because we wanted it to be listed up at the top of alphabetically ordered lists. There, the secret is out. Did our scheme work? Debatable. Just play the game.
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| Idiot Snake
It's a snake game! Only you have a dumb face and eat cookies and pizza. Cookies are one point and pizza is three. It's not really the highest quality snake game out there but it might be the most humorous. No? Well that's your opinion. You're stupid. We really need to start working on more games...I'm sorry about this really short description. Actually, the game is really simple, so I'm not. Ha! No, that wasn't funny. I didn't really laugh either. I just sat here with a straight face. I'm just trying to lengthen this post...and it's working. Idiot Snake! Mildly fun!
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| Fork It!
Stab the toast guys with your fork of justice and try to get combos! After each wave you can spend your not-very-hard-earned money on upgrades of sorts. There are like three...but you know what? That's better than nothing, so stop complaining. This is an improved version (or sequel if you must call it that) to the halfway decent but not really that great game called Sugar Toast Stabber. Also, the Golden Fork pwns, just for the record. I'm not trying to advertise anything here. If I was, I would just be telling you to click on the ads...and I am not doing that. I don't want to get banned again...that really sucked...
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| Ultimate Dress Up Game
Let me be the first one to say this. I...hate...dress up games...with a burning passion. I would rather stab a baby in the face than play one. Okay, maybe that's a little severe. Still, I hate them. They aren't fun. They aren't even games. They are pointless...but not the good kind of pointless. Dress up a cartoon. Wooh...no...it's not wooh, it's awful. These games used to get randomly added to Sugar Toast for some odd reason and I delete them as soon as I see them. They are a waste of time and space. Whoever is out there is this world that likes them...die. Get off this site. I don't care about the money if it's coming from someone like you. SO, WITH THAT BEING SAID, this game is totally different. It's a parody actually, and thus is hilariously awful on purpose. There's a whole lot of funny stuff in this game that you might not even find in the first time playing. Try to do everything you can...because usually, you can do it. There's a bonus game in here if you can find it...so have fun with that. I would also like to note that I made every aspect of this game all by myself. Take THAT people that don't care anyways. Well, normally I don't do that so, yay for me! I'm multi-almost talented!
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| Crush 2
Quite awhile back there was a game called Crush, where the objective was to move to the one spot in each level where you wouldn't get crushed. There was a normal mode and a gravity move. It had relatively high amounts of success as it was amazing. A month or two later the the sequel was made in a money greedy and uncreative way. The sequel featured slightly improved graphics as well as the all new suicide and coin modes! This, while being less popular throughout the web than the first, is still played much more on Sugartoast.com itself. That's mostly because the first Crush has a link on it going to Crush 2. Well, whatever works. If any of you are wondering why the original Crush cannot be found on this site, allow me to explain. I created a policy on Sugar Toast to remove any games from the site that have improvement sequels. This means that games with added features (such as Crush 2) are put on as replacements. Other games, like Fancy Pants for instance, with entirely different stuff in each game, get to keep their full series. Does that make any sense? Crush, like some other games, is still technically on the site for those linking to it, but it is hidden from the rest of the site. Hopefully we are going to make a third crush at some point, though it will most likely not be called Crush 3. As soon as the slacking ends we will get it all up and working. Then as the policy goes, this game will be removed/hidden from the site viewers. Fun.
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| Virtual Wishing Well
This, like a few other things, is not really a game. It's really just a gadget with a few funny responses to wishes. It works best if you use some really common keywords like "money" or "fame" or "more wishes" or something to that extent. Could this be made better? Yeah, but then again, so could any of our games or any game in general for that matter. And that's why the world has a lot of crappy sequels.
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| Paperwork Panic
The very-much-loved staff of Sugar Toast once again attempts to make the worst game of all time. This one involves you filling out paperwork as fast as you can. You can put in whatever you want, it doesn't matter, just get it done! This is basically a click and type as fast as you can game...a button masher. Except...more boring. I tried putting a few funny things in here to make stuff more interesting. It's quite a quick game. If you do it right it shouldn't take more than 30 seconds, but if you want to take your time and actually look at all the detail and/or lack of detail that went into each of the 15 pages, go ahead. There were going to be 20 but...I got lazy...and I felt that it probably would have started to repeat things a bit too much then anyway. Okay, that's about enough of the description. No need to make you read this longer than you actually spend playing.
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| Super Definition
No, this one isn't really a game. It is, however, still just as entertaining...maybe. You can type a word in the little text box thing and it will give the definition of a word...and then the definitions of those words replacing those words...and so on. Some of the stuff gets pretty crazy. Apparently if you put in "taco" you will end up with "offensive terms for a person of Mexican descent" so that's...that's just swell. If everything is working as it should, this game is, in fact, site blocked to stay exclusively Sugar Toast. Hey...Newgrounds does it! We are just following their examples like the uncreative people we are. It works better being just on this site though...because, well, we didn't want those stupid ads on it.
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| Flying Chuck Norris Head
This is another old one made quite some time ago. It was based off a different game called Jet Pack Turtle, but I like this version more as it's much more humorous. With the inclusion of the extreme giant fists and especially the Ned Flanders sounding "Ow!" when you die, this game is just amazing...or awful...or both. It can be both, right? Well I'm saying it's both, and there's nothing you can do about it. How long can you dodge the fists? I could for...a little bit. In the future I may want to make some sort of version of this where you can upload your own character, things to dodge, and background. Now THAT would be even better. You could have Chuck Norris dodging...Chuck Norris clones! And the background could be Chuck Norris as well. Yes!
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| McJohnson the Walrus
Another awfultastic game on Sugar Toast! The object of this game is to help McJohnson the nuclear walrus bounce around the ice and eat donuts while avoiding flying scissors and flashing "U CAN'T TOUCH THIS" signs. There are also health things you can get. (I had to add that last part because I'm a bit OCD.) Ahem, so, you help him bounce around by drawing border things on the ice and whatnot. There's a whole how to play thing in the game with extreme nerdy-voiceness that probably accounts for the majority of the file size. Meh. Okay, so, this game is really the new version of an old game called Marvin the Magic Marker that I made. I really had no idea where I was going with that game, so then I altered it somewhat and made this. I still didn't know where I was going with it, but my objective was for it to be as ridiculous as possible, which I think somewhat succeeded. At the same time, it makes a little bit more sense (understanding how to play wise anyway) so it's better, I think. We'll see what the SWELL people at Newgrounds have to say about it. I'm a bit upset at how the full title wouldn't fit with our current format...actually not even half of it fit. Enough about that though, as this game has banjo music and funny me-trying-to-be-a-walrus sounds! Wooh!
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| Smiley Face Generator
Scrounging around through our old and unfinished games and projects, I came across this little thing that made random text smiley faces. I fixed it up a little bit and decided to put it up. It's really simple, and it's not a game...but you know what? I've never cared about what anyone else thinks. Actually, I have, and that's why I'm so anti-social. :-(
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| 1-D Game
New and failtastic on Sugar Toast! First there were 2-D games, then there were 3-D games, but now we're going way back...to 1-D games! It actually works...and it's actually kind of hard. Don't say it's 2-D because it's squares! They are zoomed-in points! You know for a fact that you wouldn't want to play it with actual 1 pixel high lines! There are four levels in all. I was going to have more levels but I got lazy and the levels got too similar and all that other stuff. I'm pretty happy that this game actually managed to get finished. Self esteem boost? Maybe...if the game wasn't so terrible. Well, it's alright I guess. Again, it's a unique idea that hasn't been done already.
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| Bad Joke Generator
I don't really know what to say about this one. These jokes are just really, really bad. A lot of them I wouldn't even consider "trying to be funny" as they are just...things. I tried throwing in a few key phrases like "suck" and "wood" in order to make things a bit funnier, and I feel it was mildly successful. Otherwise, it's kind of funny when things screw up. This game was inspired by the overused and unfunny "Got Milk?" and "iPod" parodies. To those of you that still try to make things like this humorous...stop it. I will slap you...after I dip my hand in pepper spray.
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| World's Easiest Game
So this was another dumb little thing made quite away back. Yeah, I'm sure there could be an easier game out there, mainly one involving no action at all whatsoever except for maybe installing the Flash player...though even that could be taken out of the challenge. In the meantime, this one has a get 1 point and a get 5 points button. Obviously, you are supposed to pretty the 5 point one to get points up faster. The game ends when you realize that you should really be doing something better with your life.
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| Loading Bar Simulator
I've always liked pointless games. More to the point, I have liked games that I cannot lose at, as that usually happens. Here are Sugar Toast, we have a lot of really pointless and useless games...but we knew that if we could succeed at something, it would be making the most pointless game ever. With that, Sugar Toast presents the most useless game of all time! The Loading Bar Simulator! That really is all that it is. A loading bar to a loading bar. It goes at different speeds so it's not always the same. That means you can keep playing it over and over and it will always be different! Don't want to? Fine. So be it.
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